Monday, 30 October 2017


I was at No Black Tie for John Dip SilasNewSound live performance featuring Tasha Aleia. I closed my eyes and let the jazzy tunes take me away, allowing words to flow with the melody.

Let me paint
Lazy streaks of purple seeping through the pastel blue
Crimson red dancing with blood orange
Soft lace of white layering lush rich emerald green
Tinge of magenta melting with fuchsia
And velvet black speckled with shadows of gray.

Close my eyes and touch
The shade of mood
The stroke of emotion
The curves and the way the brushes sway
How the canvas sticks to tales
Forever binding itself as one.

Soaking up every ounce
Letting the colours seep deep
Lightly indenting its every taste
Caress with every touch
Feel the texture of grain and thread.

Never listen
thinking you already know
what is happening and
listen to the story.

Let the story whisper
e v e r y s y l l a b l e
V-v-v-v-vibrate your ear drums
Fill your mind
Between the s p a c e s
Sink in and understand.

See beyond the person
Let the story brings you on a journey of conversation
Different people bring different views
Different walks, different perspectives
Different lives, different situation
Nothing is a cookie cut template
Nothing is a carbon copy
Nothing repeats itself exactly the same
Nothing is predictable.

- Swit Marie

0002H 15th October

No Black Tie

Monday, 23 October 2017

Think Love

What comes to mind when you think of love? I tried to do a bit of homework after Melizarani T. Selva's and Bill Moran's workshop (by Spill The Ink) on the use of repetitions and challenging myself to write a 'love poem' again.

Love has got me thinking
that life is as precious as loss
that lost time is precious
that ignorance is not bliss but the absence of knowing life
if life looked like something,
it would look like the look you have on your face right now.

Love has got me thinking
about dreams and ambitions
when passion meets opposition
when exceptions is the limitation
when dreams turn into expectation
then we get honest reactions.

Love has got me thinking
Beyond chemical reactions and rash decision
when one erection becomes a rash
and a rash reaction turns into cash
When cash is the transaction
for your devotion
and value is merely an illusion.

Love has
Love was
Love is
Love will be
Love can be

Love is
full of surprise.

Love is
living through the difficulties and the given circumstances.

Love is
worth  e v e r y  ounce  of life in you.

Love has got me thinking
About which battles I willing to fight
which fights I am willing to lose
which loss will cost me
How much of me am I willing to lose?
How much will do I have in me?
To love when I have lost
To love when I need to give
To love when I have none.

Love has got me thinking
about the future
The changes in my manner
The commitments I will make
The communication between partners
Man or woman or child
that will be my friend and not foe
for the rest of my life.

Love has got me thinking
is love real?
Is it more than feeling?
Is it more than free falling?
Is it more than fast free f*cking?
Because feeling free falling and fast free fucking isn't f*cking free fast falling or feeling real.

Love has got me thinking of 'what if's, 'should have's and 'would be's
What if 'if's becomes 'when'
and 'when' becomes 'soon'
and 'soon' becomes 'now'
and 'now' becomes forever
and forever is all that it is worth.

Love has got me thinking
of how much sacrifice would suffice
If all I can do is survive
Would I have the capacity to love
at a certain degree?
Which angles would work?
Would I be able to justify
the love that I am able to give
just as I am?

Love has got me
Thinking about you
Thinking about me
Thinking about us
Thinking about life
Thinking about this
Thinking about that
Thinking about truth.

Just thinking...

Love has got me.

- Swit Marie

0400H 19th October 2017
Bahagia HQ

Wednesday, 18 October 2017

Happy Diwali

Warmest Deepavali wishes to all who are celebrating and have a splendid time with loved ones.
What is Deepavali without some Murukku and what is Murukku without Deepavali.

Idhayam kanindha iniya
Deepavaali Nalvazhthukkal

From the depths of our hearts
To the hills covered with lights
From kitchens overflowing with aromatic dhal
And dishes of different vegetarian delights
From the city skies shining bright
To our grandparents' houses lighted up tonight
Sipping chai and chattering
Adorning new sarees and lenghas
Sitting down and sharing murukku
Having meals together with smiles and ladu
Warmest wishes from near and far
May the light shine blessings upon you.

- Swit Marie
0300H 18 October 2017
Bahagia HQ

Monday, 16 October 2017


After attending a couple of workshops, I wanted to write a piece that incorporated the elements that I have learned and present a 'homework' piece as a tribute to my heroes in poetry. As this month is Mental Health Awareness Month, Breast Cancer Awareness Month and recently Day of The Girl, I had those themes in mind for this piece. Pending is a tribute piece to the late Chester Bennington of Linkin Park, for now, this is what I can muster out in the mean time.

Special thanks to Umar Abdul Azizi from Makhluk Seni for the impromptu accompaniment using the 'Seruling'. He is wonderful, honest and the punniest person I have ever met, so eager and hardworking in creating spaces for artist to experiment and collaborate. I am humbled to have him do this performance with me at 'If Walls Could Talk' Vol. 40 featuring Pooja Nansi and Crinkle Cut.

This piece is dedicated to:
My mother who has supported me through my battle with Depression and Anxiety
My late grandmother who is in a better place now after fighting pancreatic cancer.
My beautiful and talented cousin who is going through chemo, fighting her war against breast cancer
My WALLS family, all inspiring and passionate about poetry and all things spoken word. Thank you for accepting me and pushing me to get to this place today, I am no where without you
Poets who write through their pain and turn scars into words that make us want to fight another day
Linkin Park whose music has brought me through the roughest and darkest of days
You for being who you are and sharing your life story with me.

FIVE?! FIVE? Five? Five! F i v e...
F - f - f - f o u r

Do...   Re...   Mi...   Fa...   So...

So as the saying goes cats have nine lives
I would like to think that we have five.

Where a new page is written,
a full portion handed down
from the ones before us.

Where we learn and develop,
nurture influences
and build character.

Where our personalities show
with the choices that we make,
how we deal with the hand that we are dealt.

Give life
Be it barren, newborns or businesses.
At some point we give life to something,
we invest and give of ourselves
because it is worth giving.

All things must come to an end.

We have five core emotions
Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Rejection.

I have five memories associated with these five.
Five things that have shaped my journey
Five things that gave me reason.

The day my father said he would never be proud of me
The day I discovered God knew me and I found love, hope and faith
The day I found out my grandmother was dying of cancer
The day I said no to medicine and said yes to medicating me
The day I gave my life, my days and my gaze to poetry.

Five titles that shook the world, a Meteora that made a Hybrid Theory Iridescent.

One More Light was put out but it will burn in our hearts for eternity.

At some point in our lives, we have gone through the five phases of grief.

Denial and disbelief that something so real can affect us or our loved ones
Anger at the injustice that life has dished out to us
Bargained and paid a price to improve our quality of life
Depression and stress are very real ghosts that haunts even the best of us
Acceptance is key; to acknowledge the existence of a problem is the start to finding a solution.

Beyond these five rows,
I'm not sure if you can hear me,
like the cries of a person so silent
it is the iceberg hidden beneath the sea of currents
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?

Thank you, to you who are far away, thank you for listening.
For those of you here, thank you for reaching out to me.

Five days...
Five months...
Five years...

We count as each of these go by.
Each moment, a small step
Each day, a small victory
As long as you are moving forward/

It all counts.

Whether you are counting down to the next
round for medications
Or counting up to your next chemo session
Whether you are counting the days you have survived
Or how many years you have been fighting/

It all counts.

In five minutes,
I have invited you into my life.
As calm as a doe I have recited a poem about me, my journey thus far, so let me present to you five bows instead of the customary three.

To greet you as I have welcomed you into my life
To pay respect to you, the walks of life that you came from and the life stories that you carry with you
To pay homage to the warriors who have fought before me,
the ones who remind me that "it is okay to breath in different dialects"
To ask for forgiveness for the offense that I have given, or taken,
because wrongs shouldn't be left in place of what should be right
To submit myself to you, who have humbly listened to me for the 5th time
I have shared this stage with legends and gods of poetry.

Thank you.

- Swit Marie

1330H 4th October 2017
Bahagia HQ

Monday, 9 October 2017

Doctor, doctor...

This piece was written when I was having one of my post-traumatic episodes and my mind was flooded with fear and anxiety. This is the side of medicine that most of you do not see and what makes or breaks a person.
I dedicate this piece to all those in the medical profession who have lost their lives and soul in the line of battle to save someone else's life.
For National Doctor's Day tomorrow and Mental Health Awareness Month

Mr. ABC is a 45 year old gentleman with underlying co-morbids.
Admitted for a coronary related disease
because of his non-compliance to his diet of reduced lipids.
Erm... Yes... No... I mean I don't know… But… Because...
What? The... I… So…
So... So What?!
Only 10cc! How is that enough?! Take 20cc can’t get, poke the ARTERY!
Why so slow? What's wrong with you? That also you don't know?
Comments and shouts smack repeated to the back of my head.
Smack... smack... smack... smack... smack... smack...
Till I unnaturally flinch even though someone tries to pat me on the back.
I know I have lack, but would it kill you to have a little tact.

Patient crashing. BP unrecordable. Push crash cart. Close the blinds. Call family. Commence CPR. Prepare to intubate.
Eh call your friends. This patient is not gonna make it, at least let you all practice...

Ah-ilah... tak habis rounds lagi?!
My patient just passed.
I was sorting out the documents and consoled the 12 year old granddaughter.
My other patients were stable. I thought...
So what? I'm suppose to wait for you to take your own sweet time to do rounds is it?

When was ‘empathy’ deleted from a doctor’s vocabulary?

If I don't get my latte, I will make your life difficult.
This department has extended me to its full duration,
I am waiting to transfer and start over.
I have endured 10 months of this nonsense,
What else can you do to me?
What I should have said was:
You may be one step away from being a specialist but
the only thing 'special' about you is that
you are an arrogant, manipulative, bribe taking vegan tyrant.
Why should I advocate you?

In between the blood covered hands,
lab coat soaked in vomit,
urine covered sheets,
shining dress shoes,
ass kissing and the grand refusal to buy
a venti Starbucks green tea latte,
I lost my soul.
What was the point of going home when you own father
doesn't listen to you but scolds,
he yells, “You just do as you are told.”

Tidur... nyenyak dan lena…
tidak pernah agaknya
sejak mulanya kerja ini.
Terbangun setiap jam oleh mimpi-mimpi
yang semuanya ngeri.
Pesakit menjerit-jerit,
terseksa sampai mati,
darah menitis dari dahi sampai kaki.
Tidur memang tidaknya wujud.

Jut would be what I would use
to escape from this dream of a nurturing profession
that turned into a hell hole of nightmare.
The rope where my father would see me
hanging from the ceiling fan.
That would make him realise
that my health is more important
than fulfilling his plan.

I sacrificed my physical health,
countless missed meals,
l shaved seven kilos off
my waistline in two months.
No… no… no… no… no…
No time, not hungry, too tired, too much work.
Tell me how can I work smart
instead of hard when
my patient's fate is in my hands.

My emotional health,
I was given medication
for my depression
so that I can function.
But how am I to function
when I am under constant sedation
and influenced by hallucinations.

My mental health,
I could not think with clarity,
My judgement impaired,
my sanity was compromised
and lapses in my memory.
I chose to save myself
and sacrifice no more,
I turned away from a profession
that has lost its nobility
in order to regain my humanity.

Rehabilitate my brokenness
and find happiness.
To be of better use elsewhere
than suffering at a dead end there.

To those who have shown me hope,
kindness, guidance and grace:
thank you for helping me along this race.

Those are the rare gems that still have their empathy,
They are the ones who still serve whole-heartedly.
To you who have never seen this side of medicine,
For those who have fussed at the hospitals where you have been,
I hope you see this:
that we are human!

We are people
we do all that we are able
to keep your loved ones stable.

I am not proud to stand in front of this crowd as a failure
But as a person who has now moved,
Moved forward and onward, instead of backward
A person who can hope, care and love with compassion and emotion.

No one is naturally talented
but it is our nature
to search for talented people,
Talent needs to be discovered and cultivated.

We have to identify it and grow it,
No one is a stand-alone
and alone you shall not stand,
You do not need someone to hold your hand
But someone to help you build your plan.

- Swit Marie

18:20H 4th April 2017
Astro HQ

Monday, 2 October 2017

Red Square

This piece was written during a workshop taught by Melizarani T. Selva, a person who told me that I should be 'workshop-ed' and who better to learn from than the woman herself. She taught me how to write myself into a poem, how to allow people to access me via my poetry but also keeping parts of me that are vulnerable in a safe space.
We were given the privilege to use The Violet Flame, Kuala Lumpur where Lupe Parada's beautiful works were on display.

Prompt: In write 14 lines, write about a specific moment in time when you felt the most sincere form of love with this person, be specific about how this person makes you feel and it is a moment that was experienced by you and only you. Describe that moment, expand that moment, use sentences of different lengths.

In the midst of winter,
7-ого Января
(Sedmova Yanvarya)
On 7th of January in the centre of красная площадь
(Krasnaya ploshad - Red Square)
The people wish, "С днём Рождеством"
(S dyom Rozhdestvom)
Merry Christmas!
Ох мороz прийти!
(OH! Moroz priyti! - OH! The frost is here!)
An array of colours smeared with the glistening white.

Time frozen by frost,
I close my eyes,
Snowflakes kiss my eyelashes
A veil lifts off my eyes
I see you and the world that you mean to me
Like looking into a snowglobe
Snow falling all around us and you in the centre of my palms.

- Swit Marie
1420H 4th October 2017
Красная площадь, Москва

Title: WATER, The Party
Acrylics on Canvas, 2015 by Lupe Parada
PRICE: MRY 1,500.00

Monday, 18 September 2017

Hour Glass V2.0

There are two versions of this piece. I initially wrote it with the intent to extend but during Bill Moran's workshop organised by Spill The Ink at Twenty20Two, I decided to use this piece to 'litter'. He taught us about making the poem a dream space and using the poem to transport us through a space and how we relate to space in the poem.

Fine time grounded porcelain time time time powder weaving time across time and time again through shallow time channels of dry dessert land, crackles time and shattered t i m e with t... i... m... e... dense solid clay, timeunbreakabletime, unmovable time time time time time time unwilling to shift TIME. Above time and time beyond the horizon is t-t-t-time ti-me time TIME TIME TIME a massive intense thunder storm arising time and t - i - m - e spreads across the landscape. TIME roars fiercely but time is not threatening but soft time drizzling appears at first time then time turns into pouring time drowning time rain time time time time time time time time time time nursing time the land like time tears wetting dry course time lips that has been time thirsty for time taste time and time life.

Seeds in the time ground submerge sorrow by time hurt and time, time, time not new time seed but dormant in time seed with reviving time residue of hope and faith time taking a t i m e journey of pure time transfiguration of a t.i.m.e. damage land into a time flourishing and productive time plot, further growing time in time potential bearing time rich time and sweet time fruit and realise that the time toxic waste time land is becoming extinct t  i   m  e.

- Swit Marie
1643H 16th September 2017

Monday, 11 September 2017


After more than a month of hiatus. I tried to write what was meant for #Malaysiathrowsherselfabirthdayparty show for Rasa Sayang during this Merdeka and Malaysia Month.

Tanah tumpahnya darahku
Darahku seperti dakwat merah
Menitis ke atas kertas sejarah
yang tak dibaca.

Mencemarkan dan mencerahkan
Kejadian zaman dahulu
sehingga sekarang
Mengajar and menyerah
Ilmu dan ilham kepada orang.

Jalur gemilang menjadi barisan
Yang memisahkan kawasan,
menjadi batasan
Di antara utara ke selatan
Memutus talian warisan.

Di mana perpaduan dan keamanan
Dipaksakan melalui program
Di mana beban rakyat diundurkan
Kasih sayang dilupakan
Dan moral perlu diajarkan.

Air mataku menitis ke atas
Hatiku yang rindu
Akan sebuah negara
Yang boleh membangkit semula
Untuk menjadi negaraku.

- Swit Marie
10 September 2017
Quill City Mall

Monday, 4 September 2017

Hour Glass V1.0

This piece derives from an image that I got during worship a few Sunday's ago about the condition my life in relation to my problem with depression and anxiety. During the workshop with Bill Moran, I turned used this image for the exercise where we needed to place words in spaces, using time as a erosion, Links to the workshop and more information can be found here.

Fine grounded porcelain powder weaving across and through shallow channels of dry dessert land, crackled and shattered with dense solid clay, unbreakable, unmovable unwilling to shift. Above and  beyond the horizon is a massive intense thunder storm arising and spreads across the landscape. It roars fiercely but is not threatening but soft drizzling appears at first then turns into pouring drowning rain nursing the land like tears wetting dry course lips that has been thirsty for taste and life.

Seeds in the ground submerge by sorrow, hurt. Not new seeds but dormant seeds with reviving residue of hope and faith. Taking a journey of pure transfiguration from a damage land into a flourishing and productive plot, further growing in potential bearing rich and sweet fruit and realise that the toxic waste land is becoming extinct.

- Swit Marie
1519H !6th September 2017

Monday, 28 August 2017

Be The Trump Card

This piece was written after I went for Scott Sneddon's workshop on Performance Poetry and a challenge by Melizarani when she saw my blonde hair.
This piece is about layers and how each person has the potential to be more than who they present themselves to be. Let's be proud of who we are.
Lyrics were taken from Justin Bieber's What Do You Mean

Let's make Malaysia great again
Let's make the world a better place
Let's take away the pain
Let's take away the rat race.

Let me shake your hand
And take your hand
So we can make a stand
At the front of this stage
On this rich and flourishing land
And put in motion what we have planned.

We have come to an age
Where words don't stay on a page
They are typed out on timelines
And taking and giving offense is now fine
Animals are allowed out of their cage
To be proud roaming predators
To instil fear and go on a rampage
And let out their rage.

I think everybody is trying hard. It is a very tough system.

What do you mean?
When you nod your head yes but you want to say no?

Letting yourself go with the flow
because you think you honestly don't know.
But what is really happening is that
you don't want to take control
because you are afraid of who you really show
when you just let yourself go.

Make a decision and be clear with your intention.
Go forward in the direction
that you know should be your motivation.
Where you should give your all
and proceed with dedication
How you apply all your informal and necessary education
to achieve the results you want and honest satisfaction.

Live like you mean it and
say what you see fit,
not fit in a box that is collapsible.

Find out what is available
and turn your content into a label.
Don't strive recklessly
and end up a dying fable,
start being stable
and doing what you are able.

Be flexible
Be reliable
Be relatable
Be believable
Be unbreakable
Be unforgetable.

- Swit Marie
0406H 26th May 2017
Bangsar HQ